Understand Your Child’s Private World

To see a video on this part of the Father’s Mandate, click here.

“I need to understand and respect my child’s private world.

Stop what you’re doing. Listen. Be there.

Give them the confidence that they can share their treasures with you.

You never know when you’ll be invited in.

Three worlds: A) Public. B) Personal. C) Private.”

Dates between Julie and I take on many different looks - sometimes we take a walk on the beach and watch the sunset - sometimes it is a meal and planning for the business or ministry - sometimes it is a late evening walk around the neighborhood or paddle on the river - sometimes it is a bowl of popcorn and a movie. Whatever the option for the week - it is an opportunity to connect and enjoy each others company.For many years - Julie and I would take the kids on dates individually - so many enjoyable memories, discussions spending time together. While we continue to have these individual dates - we have modified our rhythm to include kid dates where Julie and I take them out together.

Many times it is to just spend time with them - speak words of life over them - and gain a better understanding of how they are doing and how we can better support them. It is not uncommon to finish the night with ice cream or Gelato. What a great way to finish the evening off. As the kids get older - say over 13 or so - we will have a date where we create specific questions that we want to discuss as part of our time together - send them to the kids before the date and carve out part of our time together to review and discuss these questions. We want to know what they are excited about in their life currently - what challenges they are having - what are their goals and dreams - how we are doing supporting them - is there anything we are doing that frustrates them - some of the questions we review when we get together. The opportunity to connect as parents together with the kids has opened up many wonderful discussions and allowed for them to enjoy the company of us together for a few hours.

If we take the time to connect with our children - many discussions will take place - allowing us into the Private world of our children on these special dates and allowing us to build a strong relationship giving us the opportunity to share in many additional special moments and connections as our children enter their teen years and adulthood.

Rich Young