Babyhood Transitions - Article

New Parenting Terms

Unpacking Modern Phrases Bringing Clarity

The definitions below are how they are described when doing an Internet Search. There is very little a parent might find about the background of who developed these terms etc. unless they took the time to do a deep dive.

During this teaching, Gary took us deeper on a couple of the terms and you can find more information here. However, I would like to share a few thoughts he has put together that will be in the new Babywise II and Babyhood Transitions as a type of warning for young parents. He reminds the reader of the rewards they are already enjoying with their baby. A baby that is not only growing, but also flourishing, meeting milestones in contentment, alertness, cognitive growth and restorative sleep all as a result of their intentional choices. They are further encouraged to hold fast to the wisdom that has guided them thus far.

Gary then went on to provide a warning about all the information rapidly spreading through social media and how easy it is to be drawn toward new parenting ideas that promise quicker, easier or more enlightened ways to raise children. Appealing to parents with terms like “modern,” “natural” or “progressive.”

It’s important for us as Contact Mom’s, more seasoned and prayerfully wiser mom’s, to help the new mom God brings across our path to ‘think’ through her question about whatever terminology or concept she is bringing to you as it relates to her child. We can gently ask if she’s aware of any established medical research that supports this concept. Has the approach stood the test of time? That is something that both Prep for Parenting PFP/Babywise has done.

We too need to remember that every parenting philosophy has a corresponding pathology, a common and predictable outcome. We can be confident that the new social media/marketing trends have been developed to support babies who have not achieved what the average Babywise/Prep Baby has. Which includes sleeping through the night, characterized. By contentment, not fearful of other caregivers or clingy. Receptive to learning about his work, doesn’t need to comfort nurse throughout the day and night. Again, we need to remind our seeking mom that her sleeping-through-the-night baby is already ahead of the class and that these new ideas are created to help the child in ‘row ten’, addressing their delays, not accomplishments.

When we are approached by a mom with some of these ‘new ideas’ don’t be afraid to ask has she considered the following questions:

What was the basis of the study?

How large was the sample group?

Were the researches unbiased, or did they have preconceived beliefs that shaped their findings?

What does the medical community say about this approach?

As Gary shared on the call regarding “developmental leaps” introduced by The Wonder Weeks, written by Dutch researchers Hetty van de Rijt and Frans Plooij. This widely accepted yet unproven parenting trend has a foundation that is surprisingly thin, based on self-reported data from only 15 mother-child pairings, all of whom practiced Attachment Parenting, a philosophy the researchers themselves supported. No neurological studies were conducted, no peer-reviewed research validated their claims, and their conclusions rested entirely on mothers’ reporting on the timing of their babies' fussiness and clinginess.

For this reason, most of the world’s pediatric and neurological communities view the “developmental leaps” theory as an unscientific model of infant brain development and entirely out of sync with present-day neuroscience findings. Some go as far as to suggest that it is a marketing exploitation of vulnerable and anxious mothers for financial gain. For a more detailed discussion of the Wonder Weeks theory and its criticisms, please visit Childwise.Life.

Once again, our role as Contact Mom’s is to help them see the successes they have already achieved and to continue with the idea of “begin as you mean to go” and to stay the course of nurturing their child but directing them on a healthy path of development.

Concepts/Word descriptions are from doing a cursory search on the Internet and the Response is based on the information they have learned through PFP/Babywise Series of books. And provided as a suggestion for you as a Contact Mom. Make it your own within the context of what is taught in the books for the age of the child you are working with. 

At each mental leap, also called a wonder week, the baby learns to use their senses and perception in new ways, pushing forward in ability. This can coincide with fussiness, crying, changes in appetite, and interrupted sleep, where the baby seems to regress before progressing again. Growth spurts, or 'leaps,' include both body and brain growth and take up significant physical and emotional energy.

Response: Bring a Mom back to understanding the natural progression of growth and development. To think, does my baby need more stimulation during wake time? Have I started playpen time/blanket time? Ready for more food, a longer or shorter nap times. Help the mom manage expectations and provide comfort. Keeping a consistent routine, offering extra cuddles, and practicing patience can ease the transition.

"Wake windows" refer to the time a baby can stay awake between naps before needing sleep again. Essentially the period from when they wake up from one sleep cycle until they are put down for the next nap; it represents the maximum time they can be actively awake before showing signs of tiredness and needing to sleep again.

Key points about Wake Windows:

Age-dependent: The length of a wake window varies depending on the child's age, with newborns having shorter wake windows compared to older babies.

Recognizing sleepy cues: Parents need to watch for signs of tiredness, like eye rubbing, yawning, or fussiness to know when a baby is nearing the end of their wake window.

Importance for good sleep: Maintaining appropriate wake windows helps to prevent over-tiredness, which can make it harder for a child to fall asleep.

Response: If I remember correctly, Linda Gage shared that this concept again is based on moms who determine feeding times when the baby is awake. The online search pretty much says: “Is there any evidence for wake windows?

This time is generally shorter the younger a baby is and lengthens as they grow older. However, universal wake windows by age are not evidence-based. We have no research saying all babies at a certain age should be awake for the same length of time. Most wake windows are simply averages. Observing and adjusting wake windows ensures better naps and overall sleep quality. Using a consistent sleep routine and tracking wake times can be beneficial.”

Here again, we can remind the mom, the Feed/Wake/Sleep cycle she’s been using takes into account all three factors; age of the baby, appropriate time awake based on the routine and age and any sleepy cues that might be present.

The term Sleep Regression is used to describe when a baby who previously slept well suddenly starts waking up more often, fussing, crying at unusual times, or resisting bedtime. These disruptions are common and typically linked to developmental changes.

The 4-month sleep regression, for example, usually begins between 13 and 15 weeks of age. During this period, a baby’s sleep patterns mature, allowing them to connect sleep cycles and sleep for longer stretches. While this is a positive development, it can temporarily lead to more frequent night wakings as they adjust to their new sleep rhythms.

The concept of “sleep regression” provides a label for parents who have not intentionally established an intentional feed-wake-sleep routine but were fortunate enough to have a baby who naturally slept well. When sleep disruptions occur, calling it a regression provides an acceptable label for the change in sleep patterns rather than it being a reflection of their parenting choices or sleep training methods.

Response: Going back to what the mom has already learned and experienced in the process of sleep training. Ask how often the baby is feeding and is he receiving full feeds. It could be that an extra feeding needs to be added or if bottle feeding, increasing the amount of formula the baby is receiving at each feed. How many naps is baby taking during the day and length of naps. Those might need to be shortened. Maintain an established first and last feed, along with bedtime routine, avoid new sleep crutches like rocking or feeding to sleep, and remember that what looks like a ‘regression’ is temporary. And a ‘life giving’ way to look at this is realizing that her baby is moving into a new period of growth and development. Consistency and patience are key.

Sleep pressure is actually an unconscious biological drive that makes us want to go to sleep. Various factors influence sleep pressure, including light exposure, awake windows, and the sleep environment. The term “sleep pressure” is primarily connected with the Two-Process Model of Sleep Regulation developed by a gentleman (Alexander A Borbely) in the 1980’s that describes how sleep is regulated by two main processes:

Sleep-Wake Homeostasis (Process S) basically the longer one stays awake, the sleepier he feels. This ‘pressure’ builds up over time and is relieved when you sleep.

Circadian Rhythm (Process C) is our body’s internal clock that tells us when it’s time to be awake and when it’s time to sleep, based on things like light and darkness.

Response: The basic Feed/Wake/Sleep cycle shared in PFP/Babywise, plus helping a mom understand how long a baby is capable of comfortably being awake, is creating a proper ‘sleep pressure’ and establishing order to the baby’s circadian rhythm. So, they don’t need to be concerned about the term and if they are achieving the right ‘sleep pressure’ for their infant/child. Since they are applying ‘begin as you mean to go’, they are doing just fine. Some helpful hints which are covered in the resources are:

·        Keep the sleep environment dark and calm.

·        Avoid overstimulation before bedtime.

·        Adjust awake times (or to use vernacular of the day ‘wake window) to optimize sleep readiness.

Concept includes holding a baby skin-to-skin which is thought to help regulate body temperature, breathing, and bonding. It is thought to be particularly beneficial for premature or low birth weight babies.

Response: If an expectant or new mom asks about the term and your thoughts as a CM. Take them back to the book, PFP/Babywise and encourage regular skin-to-skin sessions, especially in the early days, to strengthen the parent-child bond and promote physiological stability.

The ‘golden hour’ in birth, refers to the first hour immediately following a baby’s delivery and considered a prime time for bonding and establishing breastfeeding. Fathers can also participate in skin-to-skin contact. Allow uninterrupted skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth to promote bonding and health benefits.

Response: While we can provide encouragement to a mom who may ask the question prior to birth or in a Prep class, our role is to help her understand there is no ‘magic’ tool regarding bonding. It is true that a newborn is usually most alert that first hour and if it’s possible to take baby to breast, that is ideal. If for some reason it doesn’t happen, she will have plenty of time to develop a healthy bond with her baby. Refer her back to PFP/Babywise healthy bonding.

This term is again, new window dressing on an old window. Rather than using the term ‘demand feed’, the term responsive feeding means feeding a baby when they show hunger cues rather than on a strict schedule. Another term being used for this concept is Pace Feeding - which is defined as the parent controlling the sucking pace and stops the feeding in a controlled fashion rather than allowing the baby to regulate their milk intake.

Response: Remind a mom that she is not using a ‘strict schedule’ with PDF, but is actually observing her baby’s hunger signs, along with where baby is in the Feed/Wake/Sleep cycle, according to his developmental age. She is in fact building trust and a secure attachment.

Regarding the Pace Feeding idea, this could be counterproductive for her milk supply if breast feeding, because we want the baby to take a full feeding and if she decides when the feeding stops, how will she know. Again, we need to help a new mom think through these terms that are all over Social Media and Mom’s groups.

The term is used quite a bit and is actually referring to ‘self-control.’ Co-regulation is when caregivers help a baby or child manage their emotions, while self-regulation refers to the child learning to manage emotions independently over time.

Response: Encourage Mom that the routine she is establishing with her newborn and learning their baby’s different cry and cry periods, she then can offer comfort and help baby relax and ‘regulate’ himself. For an older child, offering comfort and guidance will help the child learn emotional control. Folding of the hands. Of course, it is important for parents to model healthy emotional responses.

Baby-led weaning (BLW) allows babies to feed themselves solid foods instead of spoon-feeding purees. The dictionary definition: a method of introducing solid food into a baby’s diet by allowing them to feed themselves as opposed to being spoon-fed. This method skips traditional purees and instead foods are offered prepared in a size and shape that can be handled easily by a baby. The baby is the only one to put food in their mouth using their hands.

Response:  Youtube.com/@GrowingFamiliesLife has a video and notes done in 2024 on this topic. But we also need to help a mom see, is this how she is ‘beginning as she means to go’. This topic will be included in the new Babywise II and there is a fuller explanation on the Childwise.life website.

A parenting style based on empathy, respect, and positive discipline, rather than punishment, which all sounds so lovely and in essence it is what we through Growing Families certainly want our parents to employ. Gentle parenting doesn’t follow a strict set of rules.

Response: We need to help a Mom work through her question by asking questions and also understanding that the concept does not take into account the ‘nature’ of a child according to biblical worldview. Certainly, we want to be ‘gentle’ in our approach and speech with our children starting in infancy and the foundation the mom is laying through a predictable routine is helping her in the long run to be ‘gentle’.

In an article I read provided this definition: “an approach that steers away from punishment and focuses instead on helping children to become more self-aware.” Old reliable parental phrases from “stop it” to “because I said so” are not allowed.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, instead of saying “Stop acting childish and put on your shoes,” parents trying to get a kid out the door in the morning could say, “When you don’t get ready on time, it hurts my feelings and makes me anxious. Why are you having a hard time?” Ostensibly, this approach shows “empathy and respect for how your child is feeling” and “center[s] how their actions directly impact how you feel.”

Loving parents need to communicate two basic facts to children. First, you are the center of my world. Second, you are not the center of the world.

Gentle parenting communicates the first in a wholly dysfunctional way, and fails to communicate the second, because it is premised on the false notion that the correctness or incorrectness of all speech, behavior, and thought is dependent upon personal feelings, those of the child and those of the parent.

Actually parenting, by contrast, requires authoritative clarity about appropriate behavior to which parents (by virtue of their age and experience) have access, and children (by virtue of their youth and inexperience) do not. Moreover, it requires a concept of right and wrong that supersedes mere emotion.

https://lawliberty.org/the-case-against-gentle-parenting communicates the first and those of the parent.

A period of time when a baby is extremely fussy or inconsolable, usually in the late afternoon or evening. It can last from a few minutes to a couple of hours. It can begin around two to three weeks of age and end around 3-4 months. It can be the result of over tiredness, cluster feeding resulting in stomach issues or overstimulation.

Response: As a CM you can remind a mom of the chapter on crying, normal and abnormal cry periods. Certainly, talk through the potential causes, she can try swaddling, make sure not the result of needing another burp. Often, it’s a matter of keeping the baby’s environment calm with low-stimulation.

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