Toddlers and Biting
“I just received another report from his Sunday School teacher; my son is biting other children. Why is he doing this and how can I make him stop?” Anyone working with children will come across a similar situation. Child biting is troublesome because it affects more than just the victims. It affects both sets of parents. Parents of the biter are often ashamed and frustrated over their child’s aggression. Parents of the victim are often angered by the behavior.
What do we know about toddler biting? Biting is as much developmental as it is behavioral, meaning a child will outgrow biting. However, if the underlying cause is not recognized and dealt with, the child might become a hitter or a loner, feeling safer away from other children. Some of these underlining causes include:
A noisy environment
Inadequate sleep
Insufficient amount of structure and routine
A lack of age-appropriate boundaries
Amazingly, there is another critical factor that is often overlooked: Young children who resort to biting seem to be part of a group who are placed in social settings that tend to overwhelm their physical and emotional senses. Maybe you have him in too many group activities or the stress of being in an environment with too many children. Biting then becomes a coping mechanism whenever the child senses encroachment on his space or when he feels emotionally threatened.
What can parents do about biting? One thing we know for certain, sitting down and reasoning with a toddler will not work. We recommend that at the first sign of biting you review the list from above and determine if one or more of those factors is a contributor. It’s amazing what additional structure, routine and boundaries can do to help eliminate the problem.
Second, for a few months, you might limit outside activity that involves large groups of children. This may include birthday parties, the church nursery or the story hour at the library. What we are not saying is to eliminate all contact with other children his age but rather put him in smaller, well-supervised group settings.
While the immediate consequence starts with you expressing displeasure with his behavior and removing him from other children, the underlying problem still needs to be addressed. The long-term solution is in managing or even changing his environment. The child’s world must be reduced socially for a short period of time until he is old enough to gain the coping skills he needs to handle the stress large groups of children tend to create in his little world. Manage his world and you will help him manage his behavior.
To read more purchase Toddlerhood Transition