Folding Hands - Self Control Training

Do you have one? You know, a mover, shaker; a high energy, perpetual motion, “chase-his-own-tail” type of kid. How many times have you tried to slow your little “speedster” down with phrases such as “Calm down”, “Settle down”, “Stop moving”, or “Sit on your hands”, only to discover it lasts about a millisecond? Have you ever thought about what “settle down” or “slow down” looks like to a two-year-old? These are abstract concepts to toddlers. To understand the “settle down” message toddlers need something more concrete!

For a toddler, self-control begins with the folding of the hands. This is a wonderful, concrete way to learn what calmness looks like. Children as young as eighteen-months can learn this skill. Why does it work? Because a child’s body is full of energy and his energy must go somewhere. When Mom says, “Settle down” or “Sit still” or “Stop kicking”, nothing happens because she hasn’t given her child a way to redirect the energy. But when Mom or Dad instructs, “Brody, I want you to fold your hands and get self-control,” the energy is directed right into the child’s folded hands. Yes, it is that simple. Hand-folding redirects the excessive body energy that makes self-control so difficult. Instead of squabbling with a sibling, doing cartwheels through the living room or even whispering incessantly, the excessive energy goes into the hands.

Advantage of Self-Control Training

Parents should try to help their child gain self-control before he or she crosses the bridge to trouble, not afterward. The hand-folding exercise does exactly that. It is a wonderful tool that can be used at the kitchen table when your little one is screaming because his food is not coming fast enough, at the grocery checkout while your toddler is sitting in the shopping cart begging you to buy him candy, during that longer-than-usual sermon, or any activity that requires your child to exercise a little extra self-control.

There are a multitude of benefits to this. The folding of the hands is a tremendous help during those “sit time” moments, when calm must replace kicking legs and moving arms. It is also a wonderful friend to shop owners. When you visit a gift shop with fragile items in reach of your little one’s hands, “quiet hands” will alleviate any fears you and the shop owner may have.

Another amazing thing about hand-folding is how quickly it brings about self-control. Usually only thirty to ninety seconds need to elapse before Mom can say, “Okay kids, you can let go of your hands”. Your child only needs to fold her hands long enough to gain self-control for the moment. Once that is accomplished, Mom can redirect the child’s energy to productive activities such as coloring or playing with a quiet toy.

This simple technique will become second nature to your child and will work wonders in creating the peace your family desires. When you begin training in self-control, please keep in mind that all children are different. At first, you might need to take your toddler’s little hands and fold them together while saying, “Let’s fold your hands and get some self-control.” But toddlers learn quickly and before long your

To read more purchase The Toddlerhood Transition